I don’t know if you’ve ever had the opportunity to sing and dance in front of a crowd of screaming kids, and just in case you haven’t, I need to share what it’s like. There will never be anything like completely losing myself, forgetting about the pressure of what other people think, and just pouring out every ounce of energy I have while leading worship at camp. When leading kids, in anything really, they will only give back what their leaders model to them first. If they are taught that a space is safe to give up control in, what they put forward is fascinating and beautiful. If they watch their leaders jump around and run out of breath like maniacs while we try to finish a song, they will come to the table with all the energy they have left.
Combining my passion for music and performance with my faith and using it to glorify my God is one of the most precious gifts I’ve been given. Doing that for my church is such an honor, but my favorite place to lead will always be camp. Put me in front of a campfire, on a stage in a barn, dancing in a chapel, whatever the thing is, and I am in my element. There’s something so powerful about removing kids from their normal at home context and providing a safe space for them to be completely themselves.
I tend to worship with my eyes closed because I want my focus to be on Jesus, and as I model worship, I don’t want to be distracted. But at camp, I peek a lot, and I never regret it. This week, as I stood under the lights, my t-shirt and jeans coated in a damp layer of sweat, while beads of it dripped down my face, I had the most perfect view. Every time I looked out, I was faced with a room full of around 200 kids with their hands in the air, voices singing so loud, and hearts pointed toward the God that loves them.
We had a middle school boy straight up do the worm twice during one set. A couple of different times there were conga lines around the room. Maybe that sounds distracting or irreverent to some, but the sillines and freedom was what created space for one 11 year old, after dancing his solo heart out during all four songs of the night, to approach us and not only thank us for singing but say, “You gave me the confidence I needed to get up there and conquer my fear.” Can you imagine if every kid was given permission and confidence like that? The world would change forever.
Once you experience a room full of youth shouting praises without reservations, you realize there’s nothing compared to it, and no feeling or experience will ever come close to touching it. I’ve loved summer camps since I started working them, and honestly, I could see myself retiring so happily at a cabin on camp grounds, as long as there is a lake. Eating camp cafeteria food, exploring natural trails, and watching entire family’s lives transform forever. That doesn’t sound like a bad gig.
At camp, I get to witness exponential growth in students and watch kids come alive in ways I never thought possible. Maybe I love being a part of it so much because I’ve watched it change so many lives, and I wish my younger self could have experienced more of that. I wish my family could have experienced that together. An entire week where you build genuine relationships, you’re free to be you, and there are adults paid to intentionally love you well? It changes everything for a lot of kids.
I have a few campers that I formed relationships with over the years that I’ll never forget. The Lord only knows where they are or what they are doing these days, but they’ve placed such sweet fingerprints, engraved with their names, on my heart. After almost a decade of working with different camps, I can still picture all of their faces and remember their names. I watched these sweet kiddos step into camps with nerves and hesitation, and after a few days, they were laughing, joking, running, and playing. They had made new friends, and they knew that they were safe, valued and loved exactly as they were. Having spaces like that as an adult is transformational, and as a child it can reshape your entire world and identity. Many of the campers I have worked with over the years, haven’t had the opportunity to go home to healthy or comfortable environments, and that can take away from so much of a child’s development and understanding of who they are and who they can trust. That’s why camp has my heart.
What they don’t always tell you about serving at camp, is that those kids don’t just grow and change, but they also change you. Never ever have I thought that one ounce of energy was wasted in creating a special memory for a child. Especially, and most importantly, if that memory was an experience that drew them closer to God. The honest truth is that in doing this, every tiny piece you give to them, campers return to you 10 fold. The kids that I get to lead worship for challenge me. They change me for the better. If you need a healthy dose of encouragement or hope, just go spend time with young people, or better yet, watch them worship. Nothing will challenge me to seek God more than a teenager genuinely worshiping Jesus on her knees, clearly trying to soak up every bit of His presence that she is able.
All that to say, I just said a very bittersweet goodbye to CranHill Ranch for the summer. I had the privilege of helping my best friend lead worship there a few nights a week for four weeks. I love the people there. I love the nature there. I love jumping around and getting sweaty there. But most importantly, and above all else, I’m obsessed with the presence of God there. I love the way my heart feels as soon as I get to camp and long after I leave. I love the rush of pulling the microphone away and letting the kids finish singing the next line. Thank you CranHill, for such a beautiful summer. I love you!
I’ve never claimed to be the best singer, but I will always worship my heart out even if it requires embarrassment and loss of energy. I will always lose myself at the expense of someone else encountering the living God. Plus, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Normally, I like to leave my blog posts with a challenge to my readers, but today, I just wanted to write about something that I really love. It’s that time of year when I am READY for vacation. Everything and anything is irritating to me these days, and I know that’s because I am tired and need a break. Knowing this, I am doing my best to lean hard into the things I enjoy and soak up every little bit of being in those moments. Jumping around on a stage, leading a bunch of kids in worship, the body odor being just as thick as the presence of God, is where I come alive. I’m tired, but being in spaces where I come alive is necessary. I won’t ever give that up or take that for granted.
What things bring you life? What do you need to do to find those spaces this week?
I bet your summer gets better if you chase more of those opportunities.
You are truly and deeply loved.
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