More Than Just a Pair of Shoes

For me, it was the little girl who said, “Today, I am just like everybody else.” She had been in the school office the day before with shoes two sizes too small, her toes poking out of the ends. We had been informed that her home life was less than good. Her clothes were probably hand-me-downs. That day we brought her shoes, she was able to rest in the truth that she was just like the rest of her friends. I will never forget her smile. 

For me, it’s the non verbal little boy with dirt stains and cigarette shaped burns across his skin, who took off running and smiling with his peers. A child who clearly didn’t have many opportunities to be carefree, had space to simply be a kid. 

For me it’s the kids who have said, “I’ve never had shoes that were just mine,” or “My sister never wore these before me.” It’s the kids who don’t know what brand new shoes are supposed to feel like, so you have to take a few moments to explain why they might feel a little tight. 

Those are the reasons why every ounce of sweat, blood, and tears I’ve spilled for the Shoe Project over the years will always be worth it. 

I work as the Outreach and Engagement director for my local church. At least once a year, we adopt a local elementary school and give every single student a brand new pair of shoes. We spend an entire school day on our knees putting shoes on kids to make sure they fit, and then we are up and on our feet as we run laps around the gym testing them out. Each student receives a shoe box with their name and inside are their shiny new shoes, a new pair of socks, and a handwritten note of encouragement. The Shoe Project is my favorite part of what I do. 

I won’t lie, this year’s round of shoes was challenging. It was my first time being fully in charge of all the administrative and operational responsibilities of the Shoe Project. While Shoe Day will probably always be my most favorite part of my job, it takes an awful lot to get to that day. In order to successfully deliver a brand new, free pair of Adidas shoes to every child at an elementary school, there is a lot that needs to be done behind the scenes that no one will ever see. I would put you to sleep if I listed it all, actually I’d put myself to sleep first because admin work just isn’t my thing. However, I recognize that in order for a Shoe Project to be successful, I have to be good at it. I have to do all kinds of things I don’t like to do. Don’t get me wrong here. I love the Shoe Project. I am beyond honored and privileged to lead the way in it. However, starting it, and following it all the way through can feel pretty daunting.

If things go wrong, I could give a school and its community a bad impression of our church. There’s always the possibility that I miss a child or upset them any other number of ways. Once our team decides what school we want to gift shoes to, I don’t properly rest until, not the afternoon of shoe distribution day, but the week after, once all the shoes that we inevitably need to deliver after the original distribution because a few kids always need extra sizes we don’t have. After that day, I can rest a little easier. 

But plot twist. By a crazy miracle work of God, we saved enough money helping Barryton Elementary School this spring, that like a maniac, I insisted we pick up another school. That’s right. Two Shoe Projects in two weeks. Two different elementary schools got a brand new pair of free shoes that were picked out specifically for them, labeled with their name, and then those shoes were placed on their feet by a loving volunteer who gave them uninterrupted one-on-one attention.

All of that is a lot to lead. Now add in two different sicknesses, an outdoor Easter event that saw around 400 people, an Easter service that saw nearly 800 people, a Mother’s Day service, a parade, a pancake breakfast, plus my regularly weekly to-dos and meetings. That’s why this blog hasn’t received the attention it deserves. I haven’t left a lot of space for myself these last couple months to create and rest. I apologize I’ve been gone so long. Just know that I’ve been up to some really, super important work. Now, I know even good work can lead to burn out and unhealthy habits if I’m not resting or being wise. I’m not advising that anyone should have any unhealthy workplace and personal boundaries. 

However, and this is not to sound dramatic, but if I bleed out and die doing this, I’d be proud of what I left behind. I’m exhausted right now, but every lost night of sleep, moment of stress, and overtime hour will always be worth the smiles. I’d happily trade just about anything for the chance to show a child that they are loved. I’d give up, without regret, so much of my personal time to facilitate a day where an entire elementary school full of kids walks away knowing they were thought of, cared for, and valued. For no other reason than they matter.

I don’t know that I knew what it was like to not have new shoes for the school year, although I did know what it was like to be the kid at school who felt lost and alone. I remember what it felt like to be in elementary school and feel unsure about almost everything and everyone, including myself. I remember being the little girl who would give anything for a safe adult to look me in the eyes and tell me I was awesome, to care enough to spend a few minutes just focused on me. I’ve worked with kids long enough to know that more kids than we think will go through their entire childhood without a sense of security or confidence. I love that I get to be a part of changing that for kids in my community, even if it is just for an afternoon.

It’s not uncommon for people to question our motives behind doing a Shoe Project. A church coming into a school to spend time with children!? Clearly we are proselytizing, inviting kids to church without parental consent, or we obviously will come back later with some kind of catch. It must be crazy, creepy, and manipulative, right!? Who spends thousands of dollars on shoes for kids and then just gives them away at no cost!?

Truthfully, if one of my volunteers said, "Jesus loves you," to any of the students on a Shoe Day, they would receive a very stern talking to from me and may even be asked to leave. There is a time and place for that. In a school setting, we preach the gospel without ever speaking it. Believe me, after all these years delivering over 4,000 pairs of shoes, it's just as powerful, if not more to let the joy do the talking.

Generosity like that isn’t commonplace in our world, and so when it does come around, everyone once in a while, people get worked up or nervous simply because they don’t understand. It seems like such an unreasonable gift given to me that I get to lead the way in changing that narrative, a gift I'll never stop being insanely grateful for. I get to help rewrite onto the hearts of an entire community that we give, serve, and love just because that’s what we do. No strings attached. No expectations of compensation. That makes it all worth it. 

That alone is worth a heart poured out and sacrifice after sacrifice made. 

This intense trail is worth blazing if I know that this will be my legacy.