Here's To Working On Ourselves

I know there are other heavy things I need to write about, and I will get there, but not today. This week was heavy in couple spots for me, and to be honest last night was spent tossing and turning through PTSD driven nightmares. I was transported back in time, and I could feel the texture of my childhood bedsheets, not always the most comfortable place growing up. Between those moments I flipped back and forth with worry about my grandma.

So I’m in need of a happy blog post today. Today I would like to just list some things that bring me joy right now. Honestly, this is a very therapeutic practice for me, and if you’re anything like me, you may catch yourself in depressive cycles from time to time. Lists of joy can be really helpful for that. Sometimes this becomes a spiritual practice for me, and I pray over the lists as I’m making them, thanking God for each little gift. A practice like that, though it may seem silly, can do a lot to shift your perspective.

(I’m not saying I have your mental health cure written in these words. Please hear me out. If you are feeling like you need to talk to someone, do it. It’s scary, but a necessary step, and it will eventually be so worth it. Reach out for help TODAY.)

What I am saying is that this helps me, and maybe writing your own can help you too!

So here’s my Joy List for Today:

• I recently went and saw SIX The Musical, and I’m obsessed. The soundtrack has been playing nonstop in my head and in my car. I am loving belting those diva notes! In my car! My house! My work! On my walks! I mean a feminist, British, historic, musical in pop diva form!? I don’t know that there’s been anything more brilliant!

• I love a long road trip, especially one that ends with new happy memories and sharing stories with new friends! Last weekend I went to a music festival in Indiana with some of my favorite people in the world! While there, I met and grew to love so many of the people that work tirelessly behind the scenes to make it all happen. Just know that every event you have ever enjoyed is only made possible by the heavy sacrifice and heart of people who really believe in its mission. What an honor to know and love the people who make Kingdom Come Festival Happen! KCF has this way of igniting new passion for the work I do everyday. What a blessing!

• I’m preaching at my church on Sunday. God is using me to teach a lesson about a subject I really struggle with. I get to use my personal story to bring Jesus and hope to an entire church. That’s an insane gift! I hope I never take that for granted!

• My niece gives kisses over FaceTime now! She sees my face, grabs the phone with both hands, and gives me big ole kisses. I ADORE her!

• I’m reading a series of books right now that I love! I haven’t dabbled in fantasy much, but I’m getting my toes wet with this series, and I’m loving it!

• I’ve been saving money and eating better by packing lunches for work everyday!

• At lunch time, my coworkers and best friends eat together on our patio furniture outside. It just faces a dirty, busy parking lot, but sitting with them in the sun while we rest from work, fill our bellies, and laugh together makes each day so much better!

• Normally, Grad Party season in Michigan stresses me out because there are so many to get to every year, but I’ve really enjoyed hanging with friends and eating good food this summer at every party I’ve been to!

• I had to take a couple sick days this week, but my team has so much grace for me. I still feel like I had a really productive week, and our staff team was a huge part of that for me!

• Our lead pastor, my boss, brought his puppy into work today, and it made the day so much brighter! She’s so sweet and snuggly! She still has that sweet puppy breath, and she's tiny enough that she can prop up on my shoulder and snuggle into my neck.

• I’m grateful for family that understands how crazy the rest of the family can be.

• I’m proud of myself for not having a breakdown after I received constructive feedback this week. I can be really emotionally triggered when I feel like I’m being corrected, specifically by men, but I’ve come SO far in this. Now, I’ve still got work to do, but these days, I find it much easier to separate my rational thoughts from the emotional responses and to talk myself down from a spiral and eventual outburst. Here’s to continuing to work on ourselves and to not being held captive by our trauma!

I hope this inspires you to make a list (even if it’s in your head) of things that bring you joy right now. And once you’ve identified them, pick a couple of them, and go do them again.

You deserve a smile today.

You are so strong and so deeply loved.

-Mak